I can't even begin to count the amount of times I have wished there was more time. Twenty four hours. One thousand four hundred forty-four minutes. Eighty-six thousand four hundred seconds. All of them measuring up to that measure of time that is just not long enough. One day.
Try as I might, I cannot fit everything I want to into one solitary day. If I had known growing up would cause me to want to split into a thousand different personalities just to accomplish everything, I would have sought after Peter Pan and requested asylum in Neverland.
I want to be a devoted and faithful wife, the rock my husband needs me to be. I want to nurture my daughter into the best person possible by playing with her, teaching her, loving her. I want to read every single book I can get my hands on because I live to lose myself in alternate realities.
I want to go back to school and get my Master's degree in something because I am starved for knowledge. I want to use my degree to change the world. I want to write and write and write and never stop because it is what keeps my heart beating and my brain reeling and my soul singing.
But how can I possibly fit all of that into a day? Into a week? A month? A year? How can I keep my marriage strong, be a good mother, further my education, read until not one page has been left unturned, create change, and write until there's nothing left to write...all at the same time?
I know all about multitasking. But how in the world do you multitask life? How do you do everything your heart demands you do without going insane? Does something always have to give? I don't know what I could live without.
If only life had an easy button. Or if I had a crystal ball that could tell me what lies ahead. If I knew which path my life was meant to take, it would make the choices so much easier. But that's what life is all about, isn't it?
Choosing the right path.
I just hope the answer comes to me soon. Not what to do with my life. But how to do it all. Because I don't think I'll ever be satisfied if I don't accomplish everything.