Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Get Rid of the Goop

That's what Tony on P90x said this morning during my Cardio X workout.  Let's get rid of the goop.  The gunk.  All that stuff we don't need.  I don't think he knows what he's gotten himself into with me.  I've got a lot of goop, gunk, and stuff to get rid of.

But after only nine days of the P90x program, there definitely is less there than what I started with.  And that my friends, is what I call success.

I'm trying to pretend the scale doesn't even exist because if I don't see the numbers deceasing, I think I'll get discouraged.  I haven't lost any weight yet, but I've lost inches.  And that's what's really important.  The scale doesn't show that I've lost fat but gained muscle; the tape measure does.  Always trust the tape measure.

Having started my second week of the program, I can tell you that it is definitely a program worth doing.  I can already feel myself becoming stronger.  Routines within the program that I couldn't really do last week are easier this week. 

One of the best things about P90x that I've never encountered on a workout DVD before is the countdown timer.  At any given time during the workout, I know how much time is left.  Both in the specific routine we are doing at the moment and overall.  Knowing that I've completed half the workout is a great motivator. Being able to see that I only have to suffer through Superman for five more seconds keeps me going.  Realizing that only ten minutes remain before I can drink my recovery drink and peel myself out of my workout clothes is a life savor.  Besides Tony himself, the countdowns are the biggest motivator of this program.

I love P90x.  Can you tell?  I have so much more energy already.  I want to do things again instead of sitting on the couch all day.  I'm excited every morning when I wake up because I know I am going to work my ass off (hopefully literally!) and feel amazing afterwards.  I've never been excited about exercising before.  Ever. 

But now?  I'm ready to get rid of the goop.

Friday, May 27, 2011

MilSpouse Friday Fill In

Another great week of questions for Military Spouse Friday Fill in.  Link up over with Wifey if you want to participate.  Happy Memorial day weekend!

1. Do you think civilians, in general, understand the meaning of Memorial Day?
I think some do.  And I bet some military families forget.  But a lot of people just think of Memorial day as an excuse for a picnic or a BBQ or some other family gathering.  An official start to summer.  And I'm not going to lie.  For a long time I thought of Memorial Day in those terms too. But now that I'm a military wife, I remember the meaning because my husband and brother and so many other wonderful people in my life have sacrificed many things for this country.  And I hope none of them ever have to make that ultimate sacrifice.  We need to remember those who have.  That is the real purpose of Memorial Day.

2. What are your plans for the Memorial Day Weekend?
We have a Graduation party to attend which we're super excited about because we'll see a lot of my extended family.  And then we'll just be spending time with various family members since we leave to go back to Kansas in a week. 

3. What skill/talent do you wish you had? submitted by The 3 Turners 
I wish I was better at taking the creative ideas that I have in my mind and actually having my projects turn out how I imagined them.  I'm not an artistic person.  My siblings got that gene, and it skipped right over me.  I wish I could draw or paint or even scrapbook artistically.  It just doesn't work out.  The only thing that seems to work is sewing.  Guess I'll just stick to writing instead. :)

4. Which came first: the chicken or the egg? submitted by I Married Into The Army 
Love this random question!  I think the egg.  Where would the chicken have come from if it came first?  That makes no sense to me.  Maybe the egg mutated or evolved somehow from whatever bird it was suppose to be, and that's how the chicken as we know it came to be. 

5. What is the best thing about your post (base)? The worst? submitted by Randomly, Robyn
The best thing about the base we're stationed at is the people.  I love our friends here.  They are absolutely amazing, and I think my heart will break when we have to say goodbye to them all some day.  With this being our first duty station, I think everything military-related that we experience right now will set the precedences and expectations for later.  We couldn't have asked for a better introduction to military life!

The worst thing about our base?  It's location probably.  I don't hate Kansas.  But I don't love it either.  We've definitely kept an open-mind, and we try really hard to love it since we're here for a couple years at least.  But there's no denying that Kansas isn't all that different from Wisconsin in most ways, and we wanted a change.  Midwest is Midwest.  Hopefully our next station will be a bigger change for us.  CoughEnglandcough!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Do Your Best & Forget the Rest

I've made it halfway through my first week of P90x, and I feel great!  Well, great and sore.  At the same time.  We have a love/hate sort of relationship right now.

It only takes one word to sum up P90x, and that would be INTENSE.  It is a crazy intense workout each and every day.  It's challenging and exciting and by the end you sort of feel like you took a shower in sweat.  Yes, I know.  Gross.  But oh so very true.

I'm doing P90x Lean rather than P90x Classic because it's focuses more on Cardio and losing weight and becoming lean (duh!) rather than bulking up. I'm not looking to enter any gun shows.

With this version of the program, I've done Core Synergistics, Cardio, Ab Ripper and Yoga so far.  I was suppose to do Shoulders & Arms yesterday along with Ab Ripper, but I just couldn't.  I could barely move.  I mentioned P90x is intense, right?

After the first day I was sore, but it was manageable.  After my second workout, I was definitely feeling it.  By the time I tried to roll out of bed yesterday (people would have paid money to see that comical event), I could barely move.  Every muscle in my body felt abused.  So I only did the short Ab Ripper workout, and called it a day.  I'm looking to get fit and healthy, not die.  Dieing is bad. 

I'm glad I took the break because I felt much better today.  And after the crazy long session of Yoga, I felt even better.  Yoga is by far my favorite workout thus far.  Not only was it challenging and intense, but it worked on balance and stretching everything out.  My sore muscles were so very happy when I finished.  It barely felt like I spent an hour and a half working out!

Tomorrow is Legs & Back and another round of Ab Ripper.  I'm a little nervous because out of my whole body, the legs are what kill the most right now.  An entire workout focused on them?  Ouch.  But if I get skinner thighs out of the process, I'll deal with the pain. 

As Tony says: Do your best and forget the rest.  And don't forget to Bring it!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Deployment Playlist

I love music.  No matter what genre you're a fan of, the music always seems to find a way to seep into your soul.  No situation hasn't been sung about at some point in time.  Deployments and separations aren't an exception.

A Deployment Playlist is essential.

Military wives may be some of the world's strongest women most of the time, but even we need to wallow in sadness every once in awhile.  My list has songs that make me cry until snot comes out of my nose.  I know, pretty picture right?  

But there are songs here too that just make me feel like I'm not alone.  And when you're half a world away from your sweetie, not feeling alone is pretty much the most important thing.  

Enjoy this hodgepodge of genres.  I'm pretty sure there's something for everyone here!


"Don’t you Wanna Stay" by Jason Aldean & Kelly Clarkson
"Freeland" by Miss Willie Brown
"The Longer the Waiting" by Josh Turner
"Broken" by Seether & Amy Lee
"Come Home Soon" by SHeDAISY
"Lucky" by Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat
"I'm Already There" by Lonestar
"The Chain" by  Ingrid Michaelson
"Far Away" by Nickelback
"When I Look to the Sky" by Train
"Miss You" by Blink 182
"Wait for You" by Atreyu
"Wait for Me" by Theory of a Deadman
"All or Nothing" by  Theory of a Deadman
"Alone in this bed" by Framing Hanley
"Thinking of you" by Katy Perry
"Never Gonna Be Alone" by Nickelback
"Dear God" by Avenged Sevenfold
"Calling You" by Blue October
"Just a Dream" by Carrie Underwood
"If I Die Before You Wake" by  Dustin Evans
"I'll Be" by Edwin McCain
"The Distance" by Evan and Jaron
"I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz
"Photographs and Memories" by Jason Reeves
"The Other Little Soldier" by Josh Gracin
"Never Alone" by Lady Antebellum
"My Hero" by Paramore
"The Call" by Regina Spektor
"Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx
"Kiss Me Through the Phone" by Soulja Boy
"Letters" by Stellar Kart
"Dude (I Totally Miss You)" by Tenacious D
"Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down
"Start Saving Me" by Mike Corrado
"On My Watch" by Mike Corrado
"Stand" by Mike Corrado
"The Rock" by Amy Jayne McCabe
"When You're Gone" by Avril Lavigne
"Keep Holding on" by Avril Lavigne
"Leaving On A Jet Plane" by Chantalz Kreviazuk
"Letters from Home" by John Michael Montgomery
"Sleeping with the Telephone" by Reba & Faith Hill
"Travelin' Soldier" by Dixie Chicks
"American Soldier" by Keith Urban
"Letters From War" by Mark Schultz
"Love Uncompromised" by Jason Castro
"Possibility" by Lykke Li
"Missing You" by Black Eyed Peas
"I Never Told You" by Colbie Caillat
"Stay with me" by Colbie Caillat
"How Sweet it is" by James Taylor
"Need you Now" by Lady Antebellum
"Sweetest Goodbye" by Maroon 5
"Last Kiss" by Taylor Swift
"My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion
"Somewhere With You" by Kenny Chesney
"Kiss Me Slowly" by Parachute
"I Won't Let Go" by Rascal Flatts
"Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts
"It's Been Awhile" by Staind
"If You're Reading This" by Tim McGraw
"The Angry American" by Toby Keith
"Bound to You" by Christina Aguilera

Monday, May 23, 2011

Taking Back My Body

This has been a really crappy year for me health-wise.  Last fall I was diagnosed with a heart condition, Mitral Valve Prolapse Syndrome.  Then my migraines flared up, and lasted every single day for a month.  And then my miscarriage last month.

I feel like I don't have control over my own body anymore.  It does what it wants, when it wants, regardless of my wants.  And I'm sick and tired of it.

So I'm taking it back.  My body that is.  I'm taking back the reins of my health and my body.  I'm losing this baby fat (can I still call it that three years later?) once and for all. I want to shed this weight and get in shape for my heart and for my future baby.  When the time comes to try again, I want to give my baby the best body to thrive in that I am capable of.

A lot of military wives make goals for themselves while their husbands are deployed, and I think this is the best opportunity I am going to have to focus on this.  I have my motivations, and I have my deadline (his redeployment date). 

And I have P90x.

Yeah, I think I might be a little crazy for trying this.  It's a pretty intense workout, and I'm not really in shape.  At. All.  But I need something that pushes you and is proven to work.  I need structure.  I may not be able to accomplish all the workouts right away, but I am going to try.  Hard.  Because I want this so bad. 

And that's really the reason I'm writing this. I want to achieve my goals so badly.  In the past, I've tried to start an exercise regime only to let life get in the way.  With P90x, I have structure which should help me tremendously.  But now I also have you. 

I'm going to write an update weekly to help hold me accountable. Please help keep me motivated!  Now that my aspirations are out there in the blogsphere, I can't just stop working towards my goals.  The whole world would know of my failure then.  I hate to fail so that should be a great motivator too.  :)

I start P90x today.  Wish me luck!

Friday, May 20, 2011

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In

It has been forever since I participated in Wifey's Military Spouse Friday Fill-In.  I miss it!  It's a great way to connect with other military spouses, and to learn a little about ourselves in the process.

1. What is one of the things you always do special when your husband returns from a deployment?  submitted by Keep Calm and Soldier On
Michael left on his first deployment a few weeks ago so we haven't had a reunion yet.  When Michael got back from BMT & Tech School last year, we did family pictures.  I think that's a tradition I wouldn't mind starting.  I'm looking forward to the answers to this question to give me ideas!

2. What do you do to help your spouse and/or yourself re-adjust after a deployment or long separation?  submitted by Diapers, Dogs and Deployments
Again, this is the first deployment so we haven't had a readjustment period yet.  We did have a long separation last year, but it was followed quickly by our first military move which was a whirlwind.  But I think one thing that will always be important for us to do is to not put too much pressure on ourselves.  Life doesn't stop for trainings or deployments, and everyone has different ways of coping with all the change.  Putting too much pressure on ourselves by thinking it will be easy or that nothing has changed will only make it more difficult.

3. Are you a crazy coupon clipper (I’m becoming one, so share your secrets with me)?  submitted by Married My Airman 
I've clipped coupons for awhile now, but not to the level of crazy that extreme couponers do.  A couple of my friends have become crazy coupon clippers though, and I'm astounded by all the free stuff they have piling up in their houses.  It's always great to save money, but I don't have any inclination to devote so much of my life to getting all that free stuff that I don't really need.  More power to them though! :)

4. What’s your most treasured memory of you and your spouse (not counting your wedding – that’s a given)? submitted by Scrubs, ACUs and One Crazy Ride 
The first year Michael and I lived together is probably one of my most treasured times with him.  We were only 18/19 years old, and we had just moved to Chicago--away from our families for the first time.  We both attended college full time, and we both worked.  We were both so busy and life was a little crazy, but it was perfect because we were finally together every single day.  We had been dating for four years by that point, so it was about time. 

5. If you could live anywhere overseas, what would you pick and why? submitted by Little Moments Like This
England!  I love England.  I want to move there so so so sooo bad.  If we ever get stationed there, I could then die happy.  Castles.  Quaint little cottages.  Close proximity to Scotland (my second love) and Ireland, not to mention Europe in general.  What is not to love?  Nothing, that's what.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Change in Scenery

I seem to have a problem posting.  I said last week, "I'm back!" and then didn't post again until now.  In my defense, I tried to last week when Blogger was down and then I simply forgot once it was back up and running again.  And then I got sick.  And then I had to pack for my trip.  I've been busy.

Evie and I left Sunday to visit family in Wisconsin for a few weeks.  She's been missing Grandma and Grandpa like crazy, and she simply couldn't wait a few more weeks until our originally scheduled trip the first weekend of June.  It's all she talked about.  And since we didn't have anything else going on, I caved.

That, and that fact that I could use a little more adult interaction. 

I don't mind being alone.  I've never lived alone in my life, and even though Evie's there she's not an adult so she doesn't count in that regard.  Being alone is kind of nice.  There isn't anyone to report to or be home for.  I can cook what I want, get showered and dressed when I want, go to the gym when I want. But I do miss having that presence in the house, too. 

So here we are for the next few weeks.  We have a lot more time to just relax with friends and family since we are here for so many days.  When we visited for Christmas, it was a mad rush to see all those we could manage to see.  We were exhausted by the time we got back home.  We're lucky that two family parties are scheduled while we're here so we can see all of my rather large extended family.  Big gatherings are the only chance we have of ever seeing everyone.

Thus is the military life.  Stealing days or weeks when you can.  Video chats and telephone calls and pictures and cards and packages are the norm instead of Sunday dinners or weekday shopping trips.  It's hard sometimes, but I love my life.

I embrace the craziness.

Monday, May 9, 2011

I'm Back

I didn't really mean to be gone for so long.  I kept trying to come back, to write, to get back into things.  It's been a really rough and eventful month, but for the most part I'm okay.  But every time I tried to come back and write this blog post, I just couldn't.  Mostly because I knew I couldn't ignore why I left.

Nothing ever prepares you for losing a baby.  Nothing prepares you for turning a quarter of a century a week later.  Or a week after that, saying goodbye to the love of your life as he heads off for his first deployment.  Nothing in life can really prepare you for so many blows--though I suppose, the birthday should have been a bright spot in an otherwise gloomy month.  

It's been hard.  Excruciatingly hard.  But at the same time, it's been okay.  I'm the sort of person that analyzes everything down to the most minute of details.  I don't shy away from thinking about things, and that has helped me in the healing process quite a bit.  I'm not the type of person that can stay in denial.  Though for awhile there I desperately wished I could.

Losing our baby was hands down the most difficult thing I've ever had to overcome in my life.  It forced me to remember that "life isn't fair" and that you can't control everything.  I've never felt so helpless as I did staring at that ultrasound screen and knowing that there wasn't a thing I could do to bring my baby back. My glass-half-full optimism was shaken for awhile, but I knew at my core that I would be okay.  And I am.

I had so many people come forward and share their own stories of loss.  Many others just offered a simple word of comfort.  It was hard having to tell the world of our loss so soon after sharing our joy, but I'll never regret not keeping the miracle of our baby a secret.  I needed all those people that came forward, and all those kind words.  I can't express how much I appreciate those people that loved and supported me through this.

I've been listening to country a lot lately.  I think there's just something about country music that draws you in when you're emotional--no matter what kind of emotions you have.  When you're happy and carefree, it's okay to turn to pop/rock/soul/alternative/whatever.  But when you have a lot of feelings weighing you down, you can't help but listen to country.  Or at least, that’s what happens with me. 

It just touches a part of me that I didn't know needed to be soothed. If I hadn't broken it down and thought about it consciously, I don't think I'd have even recognized that those pieces of me that are still broken are the reasons why nothing but a little country twang can satisfy me.

I'll leave you with a few words from Sara Evan's song "Stronger" that have helped me:

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger
Doesn't happen overnight, but you turn around
And a month's gone by
And you realize you haven't cried