Friday, December 31, 2010

New Years Resolutions: Part 2

I shared the inspiration for last year's resolution yesterday.  I love New Years resolutions.  I think it's a great excuse to set goals for yourself.  Even if you don't accomplish them, it's great to get in the habit of trying to improve yourself.  I think being self aware is one of the most important qualities a person can possess.

Anywho, last year my resolution was to become more FEARLESS.  I knew that I wouldn't be able to become completely fearless (and I'm not sure being completely fearless is a good thing), but I thought that trying to overcome some of my fears would be a good thing. 

I think I did a pretty good job with my resolution.  I overcame a lot of fears this year, and in a large part that is all because of my husband.  If Michael hadn't joined the Air Force and left for six months, I wouldn't have been forced to become more independent. 

I was FEARLESS when I drove cross-country by myself, with a two year old, multiple times.  I've never driven more than three hours away from home by myself before.  I was always afraid of traffic and getting lost.  In the past year, I've driven over a hundred hours in long-distant trips all by myself.  Now that I have a GPS, the fear of getting lost is completely non-existent.  And it's amazing how easy it is to get past your fears when you have no choice but to overcome them.  Now that I've driven in Dallas, I feel I can drive anywhere.  That crap was scary!

I was FEARLESS when I was a single parent for six months.  I had a lot of help from my awesome parents, but still.  I didn't have Michael to take over when the day was too long.  I didn't have anyone to help make important parenting decisions and choices.  I think every single military spouse is fearless because being a temporary single parent is just plain hard.  Bouncing between duel parenting to single parenting back to duel parenting takes its toll on everyone.  But I think I accomplished it fearlessly.

I was FEARLESS when Michael started working Mid-shift (third shift), and I was left alone every night.  If you know me, you know this is a big deal.  I usually can't sleep without another adult in the house.  I just feel vulnerable, and my nerves completely take over.  It was great practice for when Michael deploys, and I am so proud that I fearlessly went to sleep every night with only one light on in the house. 

I'm glad this is one New Year's Resolution that I stuck to.  I didn't overcome all my fears, but I didn't expect to.  I'm just proud that I was able to become more fearless in my life.  I'm more independent, and I'm more willing to take chances. 

Come back tomorrow to read this year's resolutions.  Have a happy and safe last day of the year!

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