Devastation

We lost the baby.

Thankfully Michael was able to stick around a few weeks more deploying so we can grieve together.

Obviously I won't be blogging for a little while.

Thank you for your support

Wordless Wednesday

It's Happening

The D word.  The unspeakable D word that every military family knows to prepare for, but hopes won't happen.  The D word that is sort of a rite of passage in the military world--you're not really a member of the club until it's happened.

Deployment.  It's happening.

We knew Michael would be deploying sometime this year.  This base deploys people a lot so we knew it would happen.  With the news of the pregnancy, we were even hoping it would be soon.  Within the next few months, so he could be back before the baby is born.  What we weren't expecting is such short notice.

We were given just over a week's notice.  That's not a lot of time to wrap your head around a deployment, especially the first deployment.  It's more than some people get, but that knowledge doesn't make it suck any less. 

So we're trying to squeeze in family time amongst all the preparations that come with an impending deployment.  Even if we're not really certain what all that entails.  We're both trying to mentally prepare for the separation.  We're trying to prepare Evie.  We're trying to reconcile ourselves to the fact that he'll be gone for most of the fun stuff about this pregnancy--hearing the heartbeat for the first time and the big ultrasound. 

We're going to be okay.  That much at least, I'm certain about.  I'm far away from family, but I've got great friends here.  And other people in our support system are only a phone call away.  We have trips planned to help pass the time.  And of course, preparing for the new baby will keep me plenty busy.

And I just remind myself of all the silver linings of deployment.  Like less laundry.  And having control of the television remote.  And eating foods Michael doesn't like. 

That's the key to military life, I think.  Finding the silver linings. 

One + One = Four?

Yep, that's right.  Evie is going to be big sister in November!

We are so excited!!!

We have bounced back and forth and back and forth and back and forth about when--or even if--we were going to have our second child.  I talked about the reasons for our indecisiveness a few months back, and then we decided to put it off for awhile.  And we did.

And then one day?  It just seemed right.  So I said goodbye to the Mirena, and two months later...two pink lines! I'm glad it happened so quickly or I may have changed my mind again.

We are absolutely over the moon.  Every time I think about it, I can't wipe the silly grin off of my face.  Every doubt or worry I had before is gone.  This just feels right.

And so far I'm feeling pretty good.  My pregnancy symptoms all seem worse this time around which hardly seems fair (after all, last time I didn't have a toddler to chase around), but they aren't unmanageable.  I'm one of those annoying people who think pregnancy is magical, and I try to enjoy every precious moment of it.  Especially because we plan on this being my last pregnancy.

7 Weeks

I know.  Only seven weeks?  Just don't tell me I'm having twins or I might have to kick you.  I've been told you show a lot earlier with subsequent pregnancies, and that's what I'm sticking to. I can't even fathom more than one baby at a time.

So there's my news.  I'm sure between this and the other news I will be sharing tomorrow,  I will have lots to blog about in the months to come.  Hoorah!